Well I think the time has came.. the time to change... meaning change the way I look... I have cut my hair died it... now time for the body... I was walking around in work today and I was by myself and I cought a glimps in the mirror and can I say.... I started to cry.... this isn't the person I want to be. I have never seen myself this big..... I ahve never seen my arms the way they are or the way I have two giant rolls.... I tell you it was the most depressing thing I have ever seen. This isn't the way I want my kids to see me....
I want Dominic to see a thin mama and a mama who can run and play with him... Not a mom who just sits on the couch or on a bench and says go play... I want Abigail to see someone who loves herself and is proud... right now thats not me... I'm huge and I wasn't even this big when Prego with either kid... I feel as though i have hit the bottom... This really can't be. What is wrong with me... what happen to that person who has been big but always had confidence well she isnt' here. A big part of me says why me and then the other part says you did it all to yourself. Really that is the truth. Now its time to fix it. Its time to get up off my ass and do something about it.... I can't have my kids see their mom be like this. as of today 5/25/2010 I Jolene Garrett will change my life will change the way I eat will change to make sure I'm here for my kids... I want them to be proud of their mom and not imbariesed..... I have to change and I will do it...
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